Canada Win Hockey Gold at Home in Vancouver Olympics VANCOUVER - With an overtime goal by Sidney Crosby, the Canadian men’s hockey team brought home the gold medal -- and a case of Molson’s Canadian lager for Canada’s Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, paid for by Barack Obama. The U.S. president and Harper made a “friendly wager” on the gold medal game today that pitted the North American neighbors in the final event of the Vancouver Olympic Games. If the U.S. had defeated the hometown favorites, Harper would have suffered the added ignominy of having to buy Obama a case of Yuengling beer, with headquarters in Pottsville, Pennsylvania, said White House spokesman Nick Shapiro. Canada beat the U.S. 3-2, earning its eighth hockey gold medal. The game was extended after U.S. player Zach Parise scored in the last 24 seconds of regulation play. The last U.S. Olympic title came in 1980, when a group of college players upset the Soviet Union in a semifinal game that became known as the “Miracle on Ice.” The U.S. beat Finland for the gold.
Death toll in Chile earthquake passes 708 The death toll from Saturday's 8.8-magnitude earthquake in Chile has risen to 708, Chilean President Michelle Bachelet said. Calling it an "unthinkable disaster," Bachelet said a "state of catastrophe" in the hardest-hit regions would continue, allowing for the quick restoration of order and speedy distribution of aid. Despite looting concerns in some areas, Bachelet said her government reached an agreement with the country's major supermarkets that would allow them to give away basic foodstuffs they have in stock to those affected by the quake. Thirty-six hours after the massive earthquake, distribution of electricity remained a key challenge, the president said. Chile has received many offers of international aid, and will accept the help that it needs, Bachelet said. "This will take a great effort from all sectors, public and private," she said. The armed forces would be available to help with security and the distribution of food, she added. The president said she hoped that the airport in Santiago, the capital, would reopen to private, public and commercial air traffic in the coming hours. The airline LAN Chile said that three flights left from Peru to Chile on Sunday, one of them landing in Santiago. These flights were not commercial, but were transporting Chileans stranded in Peru back to their country, LAN Chile Spokesman Roberto Davila told CNN en Español. The quake comes at a time of transition for Chile. President-elect Sebastian Piñera is slated to take office in March."The loss of life is the most painful," Piñera said via a Twitter message. "We will have a great challenge for reconstruction." The quake struck before dawn Saturday, toppling thousands of houses, affecting 2 million people and dealing a serious blow to one of Latin America's most stable economies. The Chilean Red Cross reported that some 500,000 homes suffered considerable damage as a result of the quake. More than 90 aftershocks had been recorded, ranging from 4.9 to 6.9 in magnitude. Of the 708 reported dead as of Sunday afternoon, 541 had died in Chile's Maule region, and 64 in the Bio Bio region, both in south-central Chile. Some 103 people died in other areas. "I am certain that these are numbers that will continue to grow," Bachelet said. In Concepcion, the capital of the Bio Bio region, video showed collapsed walls of buildings, now exposing twisted pieces of rebar. Whole sides of buildings were sheared off, and at least two structures caught fire. Emergency teams rescued 30 people from one collapsed building. The country's major north-south highway was severed at multiple points; and the capital city's airport was closed after its terminal sustained major damage. In the city of Constitucion, more than 60 bodies were found and placed in a makeshift morgue inside the gym of a local school, a federal police officer said. Buildings lay in rubble, bridges and highway overpasses were toppled and roads buckled like crumpled paper. Mangled cars were strewn on highways, many of them resting on their roofs. "The television fell, all the decorations fell. Everything you can imagine was on the floor," Santiago resident Juan Vivanco told CNN en Español and other TV networks covering the quake.. Vivanco said he waited until the shaking stopped before climbing down 17 flights of stairs to exit his apartment building. At his home, as with many others in the capital, the building exterior showed few, if any, signs of damage, while inside, things were a mess. Saturday's quake was 700 to 800 times stronger than the 7.0-magnitude quake that struck Haiti in January, leaving 212,000 people dead and more than a million homeless. It also occurred at a greater depth -- 21.7 miles -- compared to the shallow 8.1-mile depth of the Haiti quake, which contributed to much of the damage there. Coastal Chile has a history of deadly earthquakes, with 13 temblors of magnitude 7.0 or higher since 1973, the U.S. Geological Survey said. As a result, experts said, newer buildings are constructed to help withstand the shocks. One major concern on Sunday was security, said the mayor of Concepcion, Jacqueline Van Rysselberghe. Desperate residents scrounged for water and supplies inside empty and damaged supermarkets. On Sunday morning, authorities resorted to tear gas and water cannons in some instances to disperse looters. Looting was being done not just by desperate residents, but by others who saw an opportunity to steal, Van Rysselberghe said. In addition to food and emergency supplies, looters were taking from appliance and electronics stores, she said. "They are robbing everything," she said, asking for a strong military response in her city to restore calm. Some small business owners had resorted to protecting their shops with rifles and shotguns, and the current police force was inadequate, she said. For its part, the city government was distributing water from the central plaza, Van Rysselberghe said. Saturday's epicenter was just a few miles north of the largest earthquake recorded in the world: a magnitude 9.5 quake in May 1960 that killed 1,655 and unleashed a tsunami that crossed the Pacific.
Chile has begun to count the cost of its deadly 8.8 magnitude earthquake as nations around the Pacific eased their fears of a devastating tsunami. The quake, on Saturday morning, killed at least 300 people - 90% of them in their homes. It is feared the damage may cost tens of billions of dollars. One major rescue effort is in the city of Concepcion, where dozens are feared trapped in a collapsed apartment block. The Pacific-wide alert for a tsunami in the wake of the quake has been lifted. Chilean President Michelle Bachelet said that two million people had been affected by the earthquake. The 8.8 quake is one of the biggest ever recorded and the largest to hit Chile in 50 years. Many Chileans in affected areas have spent the first night since the earthquake outdoors, afraid to stay inside. In Concepcion, close to the epicentre, mayor Jacqueline van Rysselberghe said dozens of people were trapped in the collapsed apartment block. "Time is of the essence to save the people inside this building," she said. Rescue coordinator Commander Marcelo Plaza said: "We spent the whole night working, smashing through walls to find survivors. The biggest problem is fuel, we need fuel for our machinery and water for our people." National television showed pictures of people removing goods from supermarkets in Concepcion, Chile's second city, before police arrived to clear the crowd with tear gas and water cannon. The situation there has been described as critical. Ms van Rysselberghe said Concepcion had as yet received no food or other aid from Santiago and that it was urgently needed. Strong aftershocks have continued to rock Santiago and other areas. The epicentre of the quake was 115km (70 miles) north-east of Concepcion and 325km south-west of Santiago. Chilean officials and ministers are still trying to come to terms with the scale of the disaster. Interior Minister Edmundo Perez Yoma said it was difficult to give precise figures of a "catastrophe of immense proportions". One US risk assessor, Eqecat, put the value of the damage at between $15bn and $30bn (£9.8bn-£19.6bn) or 10-15% of gross domestic product. About 1.5 million homes have been damaged and police patrols have been stepped up to deter looters.
Most of the collapsed buildings were of older design - including many historic structures. About 90% of the historic centre of the town of Curico was destroyed. Many roads and bridges across the affected area were damaged or destroyed. Santiago airport was damaged and remains closed. Jose Abumohor, of Chile's national emergency centre, said efforts were already under way to restore public services. "The aim is as soon as possible that we manage to reach a state of normality," he said. Mr Abumohor said the metro system would soon be working in Santiago and other transport services were slowly returning to normal. Roads were passable, although with diversions. Efforts were under way to get aid to those who needed it, with relief supplies essential for the Juan Fernandez islands, where at least five people were killed as tsunamis hit. The coastal town of Talcahuano, badly damaged by tsunami waves, is said to be the worst affected. Organisation of the reconstruction effort will soon pass to Chile's new president, Sebastian Pinera, who takes office in two weeks. "It's going to be a very big task and we're going to need resources," he said. Chile has so far not requested aid despite offers of assistance from the US, China, the EU, the UN and others. Foreign Minister Mariano Fernandez said Chile did not want aid offers to be "a distraction", adding: "Any aid that arrives without having been determined to be needed really helps very little." Economic analysts say the quake will have a deep impact on Chile's economy, with the peso weakening in the short term and a large cost for rebuilding. However, Chile could benefit in the long term from an economic boost in the reconstruction effort. Alberto Ramos of Goldman Sachs told Reuters: "The Chileans fortunately have the best managed economy in the hemisphere and will be able to deal with this terrible adversity." Evacuation orders Meanwhile fears of a devastating tsunami across the Pacific receded on Sunday. Japan has maintained an alert, issuing evacuation orders for 320,000 people around the coast. However, it downgraded its alert from major to normal - meaning waves of two metres were expected rather than three. About 50 Pacific countries and territories had issued tsunami alerts. French Polynesia and Tahiti were among those hit by high waves, but no casualties have been reported. The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center on Sunday lifted its Pacific-wide alert. Warning systems across the Pacific have improved since the 2004 Indonesia quake sparked a tsunami that killed nearly 250,000 people.
JOURNALISM, MASS MEDIA AND ENTERTAINMENT MANAGEMENT COURSE
CURSO DE PERIODISMO, GERENCIA DE MEDIOS DE COMUNICACION E INDUSTRIAS DEL ESPECTACULO (PRODUCCION TV Y ARTISTAS) OUTLINE
Lectured in Spanish. Readings: bilingual Spanish & English
Dictado en español. Lecturas, bilingües (Español / Inglés)
Starts on Saturday March 6, 2010 - 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.) 6-week course: 5-week classes, 1-weekend project presentation
Curso comienza el sábado 6 de marzo del 2010 – 9:00 a.m. a 1:00 p.m.
Location: UNO SPANISH SERVICES / EDUCATION CENTRE Street: 79 King Street East, Unit 1 City/Town: Toronto, ON
1. Analysis and Communication / Análisis y Comunicación
2. Advertising and Marketing Communication / Comunicación de Mercadeo y Publicidad
3. Brand Management / Lovemarks / Gerencia de Marcas
4. Consumer Behavior / Comportamiento del Consumidor
5. Sports, Music & Entertainment Marketing and Management / Gerencia y Mercadeo de Espectáculos, Música y Deportes
6. Global Knowledge Economy, Digital & Online Media / Economía del Conocimiento Global, Medios Digitales y en Línea
7. Leadership, Motivation and Power / Liderazgo, Motivación y Poder
8. International Media Management / Gerencia Internacional de Medios de Comunicación
9. Media 2010 – The Next Generation / Medios de Comunicación 2010, La Nueva Generación
10. Negotiation Analysis and Behavior / Análisis y Comportamiento de Negociaciones
11. New Product & Brand Development / Desarrollo de Nuevas Marcas y Productos
12. Strategic Management in Entertainment and Media Industries / Gerencia Estratégica en las Industrias del Entretenimiento y Medios de Comunicación
13. Business Plan Development / Desarrollo de Plan de Negocios
14. Student Project Presentation / Presentaciones de Proyectos de los Estudiantes
Out of class: Go visit a mega-chain bookstore, TV station, music studio, newspaper or magazine and watch movie “TBD”
Course based on media, communications, and entertainment management curriculum from Catholic University of Chile, MIT of Massachusetts, Columbia University, New York, and University of California (UCLA). Materials from Institute of the Press, SIP – IAPA, Miami, Style Handbook, The American Press Institute, and El Financiero of Mexico Newspaper.
We will issue a Certificate of Completions after successful marking and project presentations. JUAN CARLOS CORDERO Chairman & CEO Caminchi Bridge Corporation A Canadian federally incorporated corporation Tel. 416-866-8811 - Cell. 647-262-2804Email: caminchicanada@yahoo.com, caminchicanada@yahoo.com, juancarloscordero@caminchigroup.com TORONTO - BUDAPEST - MOSCOW - DUBAI - SANTIAGO - BUENOS AIRES - BOGOTA - NEW YORK - MIAMI Skype: jccordero28 - IM: laestrellanews Web: www.unoss.ca
Huge quake hits Chile and tsunami threatens Pacific
A devastating earthquake struck Chile early Saturday, toppling homes, collapsing bridges and plunging trucks into the fractured earth. A tsunami set off by the magnitude-8.8 quake threatened every nation around the Pacific Ocean — roughly a quarter of the globe.
Interior Minister Edmundo Perez Yoma said the most powerful quake to hit the country in a half-century killed at least 82 people, but the death toll was rising quickly.
In the town of Talca, just 65 miles (105 kilometers) from the epicenter, Associated Press journalist Roberto Candia said it felt as if a giant had grabbed him and shaken him.
The town's historic center, filled with buildings of adobe mud and straw, largely collapsed, though most of those were businesses that were not inhabited during the 3:34 a.m. (1:34 a.m. EST, 0634 GMT) quake. Neighbors pulled at least five people from the rubble while emergency workers, themselves disoriented, asked for information from reporters.
Many roads were destroyed, and electricity, water and phone lines were cut to many areas — meaning there was no word of death or damage from many outlying areas.
In the Chilean capital of Santiago, 200 miles (325 kilometers) northeast of the epicenter, a car dangled from a collapsed overpass, the national Fine Arts Museum was badly damaged and an apartment building's two-story parking lot pancaked, smashing about 50 cars whose alarms rang incessantly.
Experts warned that a tsunami could strike anywhere in the Pacific, and Hawaii could face its largest waves since 1964 starting at 11:19 a.m. (4:19 p.m. EST, 2119 GMT), according to Charles McCreery, director of the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center.
Tsunami waves were likely to hit Asian, Australian and New Zealand shores within 24 hours of the earthquake. The U.S. West Coast and Alaska, too, were threatened.
A huge wave swept into a populated area in the Robinson Crusoe Islands, 410 miles (660 kilometers) off the Chilean coast, President Michelle Bachelet said, but there were no immediate reports of major damage.
Bachelet had no information on the number of people injured. She declared a "state of catastrophe" in central Chile.
"We have had a huge earthquake, with some aftershocks," she said from an emergency response center. She said Chile has not asked for assistance from other countries, and urged Chileans not to panic.
"The system is functioning. People should remain calm. We're doing everything we can with all the forces we have. Any information we will share immediately," she said.
Powerful aftershocks rattled Chile's coast — 24 of them magnitude 5 or greater and one reaching magnitude 6.9 — the U.S. Geological Survey reported.
In Santiago, modern buildings are built to withstand earthquakes, but many older ones were heavily damaged, including the Nuestra Senora de la Providencia church, whose bell tower collapsed. A bridge just outside the capital also collapsed, and at least one car flipped upside down.
Several hospitals were evacuated due to earthquake damage, Bachelet said.
Santiago's airport will remain closed for at least 24 hours, airport director Eduardo del Canto said. The passenger terminal suffered major damage, he told Chilean television in a telephone interview. TV images show smashed windows, partially collapsed ceilings and pedestrian walkways destroyed.
Santiago's subway was shut as well and hundreds of buses were trapped at a terminal by a damaged bridge, Transportation and Telecommunications Minister told Chilean television. He urged Chileans to make phone calls or travel only when absolutely necessary.
Candia was visiting his wife's 92-year-old grandmother in Talca when the quake struck.
"Everything was falling — chests of drawers, everything," he said. "I was sleeping with my 8-year-old son Diego and I managed to cover his head with a pillow. It was like major turbulence on an airplane."
In Concepcion, 70 miles (115 kilometers) from the epicenter, nurses and residents pushed the injured through the streets on stretchers. Others walked around in a daze wrapped in blankets, some carrying infants in their arms.
Concepcion, Chile's second-largest city, is 60 miles (95 kilometers) from the ski town of Chillan, a gateway to Andean ski resorts that was destroyed in a 1939 earthquake.
The quake also shook buildings in Argentina's capital of Buenos Aires, 900 miles (1,400 kilometers) away on the Atlantic side of South America.
Marco Vidal, a program director for Grand Circle Travel who was traveling with a group of 34 Americans, was on the 19th floor of the Crown Plaza Santiago hotel when the quake struck.
"All the things start to fall. The lamps, everything, was going on the floor," he said. "I felt terrified."
Cynthia Iocono, from Linwood, Pennsylvania, said she first thought the quake was a train.
"But then I thought, `Oh, there's no train here.' And then the lamps flew off the dresser and my TV flew off onto the floor and crashed."
The quake struck after concert-goers had left South America's leading music festival in the coastal city of Vina del Mar, but it caught partiers leaving a disco.
"It was very bad. People were screaming. Some people were running, others appeared paralyzed. I was one of them," Julio Alvarez told Radio Cooperativa.
The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center called for "urgent action to protect lives and property" in Hawaii, which is among 53 nations and territories subject to tsunami warnings.
"Sea level readings indicate a tsunami was generated. It may have been destructive along coasts near the earthquake epicenter and could also be a threat to more distant coasts," the warning center said. It did not expect a tsunami along the west of the U.S. or Canada.
The largest earthquake ever recorded struck the same area of Chile on May 22, 1960. The magnitude-9.5 quake killed 1,655 people and left 2 million homeless. The tsunami that it caused killed people in Hawaii, Japan and the Philippines and caused damage to the west coast of the United States.
But if having a blog has taught me one thing it’s this: never suffer in silence. When something so atrocious happens, something that could literally end the world, it’s my duty to share my explicative-filled rant with the tens of you.
Are you ready? Are you sitting down? They’re remaking Karate Kid.
(Letting you take this in)
OK, that’s actually not the worst news. Jackie Chan is playing the Miyagi part.
It gets worse. They’re remaking it as a kid’s movie, making Daniel-san 11 years old.
It gets worse. Jaden Smith, Will Smith’s son is playing the Daniel-san part.
I’m sorry, but you need to watch this. It hurts. It’s not fun. It might melt your eyeballs, but I need everyone to watch so you can share my pain and join my cause.
(Waiting)
Terrible, huh? I sat in stunned silence for about 15 minutes after the clip ended. Since there are no possible words to describe it, here are a few fun facts about the production. Odds that the following happened:
- Chances that he gets to fuck the little Asian chick at the end: 89%.
I mean, if he didn’t get to touch little tiny Asian boobies why else would Jackie be involved?
- Chances that Ralph Macchio makes a cameo at some point in the movie: 95%
I’m thinking he’s the pilot and has a really bad line of recycled dialogue like “whoa, whoa, slow down, Son. First learn to stand, then you can learn to fly.”
- Chances that the first time they filmed that scene they had to cut when Daniel-san inexplicably turned to Jaden and said, “Your Dad is paying me in cash right? My concern is, uh, and I have to check with my accountant, that this might bump me into a higher tax bracket.” 7000%.
- Odds that “take the jacket off, put the jacket on” becomes part of the daily vernacular of every 10 yr old the same way that “wax on” or “sand the floor” did twenty years ago: -43%
Take your jacket off!? This guy’s not a sensei, he’s a fucking maître d'!!!
- Odds that this movie will kill anyone who watches it in full: 0. Yes, zero, Vegas wouldn't let us bet on this one. It's like taking odds that Lindsay Lohan will still be a virgin at 30.
What can we do about this? Should we get an online petition going or something? Thoughts?
Today I traveled from San Francisco to Greensboro, North Carolina. I decided to keep a running diary of the day. All times listed are whatever the local time was when I made the note.
8:20am
My bag is packed and I lean down to give Patch a kiss on his head. He seems disgruntled that he’s being disturbed at such an ungodly hour. I do some quick math and figure I’m about 12 hours away from being in my hotel room in Greensboro, NC. Which is when I’ll publish this post. It's gonna be a long day.
8:30am
Cab shows up. His name is Mahmood. I know this because it says so on the dashboard. He comments on the sunshine. I ask how his day’s going. He says fine. The conversation ends there.
8:55am
I’m getting better at business travel in the sense that I know how to pack. I’m strictly carry-on these days which is a huge feat for me. I like to have outfit options, which makes carry-on difficult, but this being a 48-hour trip it’s completely possible.
9:05am
Security is standard. It takes 4 buckets to get my stuff through. I’m quickly thinking this post might be the most boring ever. No seriously, ever.
9:25am
I call my mother. I call my mother every time I fly. She’s already got the flight tracker up on her monitor at work waiting for takeoff. She’s a Jewish mother, what are you going to do?
9:48am
I stop by the newsstand to stock up on magazines. Luckily, all the new monthlies are in so I have a slew of stuff to read. I grab the latest GQ, Esquire, Details and Rolling Stone. I’ll read the GQ first. It’s far and away the best magazine out there.
10:36am
Flight is airborne. They have wireless on the flight. I quickly sign on to IM so I can talk to Jericho. He asks how my weekend was. I say fine. The conversation ends there.
10:44am
I’d love to describe the other two people sitting in my row with me but they’re being nosy and computer screens are hard to hide when sitting side by side. I describe this situation to Jericho. He says, and I quote, “fuck em.”
10:55am
The captain comes on to explain “we’ve reached our cruising altitude of 36,000 feet.” He then goes on to describe a few of the natural wonders we can see from the plane, our flight route and the temperature in Dallas/Ft. Worth. I love this. I stop my iPod to listen. I wish the captain would talk throughout the entire flight. I’m completely serious. I want him to explain every single bump we encounter. I want him to do a complete dissertation of turbulence. I want to know if he packed a lunch or opted for the $10 Boston Market Chicken Carver Sandwich. He concludes his announcement with “we’ll check back in with you in a bit” and I am literally counting down the moments until this happens.
10:58am
It should be worth mentioning I have a routine down when it comes to music on flights. It started a couple months back when I flew SF to LA. That flight is insanely short. Actual time in the air is about 55 minutes. So I’d put on Bright Eyes ‘I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning.” And I knew around song 8 they’d tell us it was time to shut down personal electronics. (please note, when flying, I fast forward the first 1 minute and 23 seconds of the first song on this album. Check it out and you’ll know why.) So I continue this approach whenever I fly. Regardless of the flight length I always start with this album.
11:16am
We’ve reached song 8, “Land Locked Blues”. Fuck. This would be a lot cooler if we were landing in LA.
11:22am
Having wi-fi on board, I send my mom an email from the air. She thinks this is the coolest thing ever. She writes back about 5 emails in the span of 45 seconds. Half of them center around the other ladies in the office amazed at technology these days. Within 90 seconds I get an email from my dad asking how the flights going. I half expect them both to show up out my window in a 2-seater so they can accompany me the rest of the way.
11:29am
The fasten seat belt sign has been turned on. The bumps are getting worse. I can’t help but think this is it for me. I’ll have to stop typing for now. And reflect on my life.
11:36am
Seat belt sign is off. I take my first breath in 7 minutes.
11:39am
Seat belt sign is back on. I'm convinced my world is about to end. (I do appreciate a pilot who is accurate in his communication though)
11:46am
Seat belt sign is back off. I’ve put Fleet Foxes on my iPod. I update my Facebook status with a line from one of their songs. The line I post is “Tell me anything you want. Any old lie will do.” I’m anticipating 1 fan of Fleet Foxes will give it the thumbs up. One fan will actually mention Fleet Foxes in the comments. One chick who ‘likes’ any status update I do will also ‘like’ this one. And my friend Drew will tell me an actual lie that equates to how miserable his life is. He has never heard of Fleet Foxes. I'm feeling good about this prediction.
11:51pm
The pilot makes a quick announcement to tell us something about somewhere in Arizona which we’re currently flying over. I don’t hear a word he says. Instead I focus intently on his voice. Is it calm? Is he hiding something? Does he think we’re about to go down but is tricking us? He sure sounds confident.
11:54pm
The chick next to me gets up to pee. I too get up to pee. Let me tell you something about me on a flight. I will get up at any opportunity. I prefer the window, so I can stare outside, but do better with an aisle seat since I like to get up so often. Even if I don’t have to pee, I’ll squeeze out a few drops. Whenever I look in the mirror I immediately think of that one scene in Cast Away…a scene which I’ve never actually seen only heard while my eyes were closed tightly in the theater. Neurotic? Paranoid?Um, yes.
12:10pm
Jericho informs me that he’s going to a meeting and is signing off for the day. Just like that. Can you believe him? What a dick.
12:57pm
Hunger sets in. I’m determined to not buy anything on this flight. Over salted processed turkey slices wedged between two thick soggy pieces of white bread and plastic lettuce sounds awful. Looking forward to seeing what the Dallas/Ft Worth airport has to offer. Hell, I have an hour or so to kill when I’m there.
12:58pm
Powered threw Bright Eyes, Fleet Foxes, Yeasayer, Them Crooked Vultures and now onto Hot Chip. I listen to albums start to finish. Except for that one song on Hot Chip. It’s super gay.
1:20pm
On our decent into Dallas I stare intently out the window. I’m always fine on the decent. As soon as we get low enough to actually see the cars, I’m confident if necessary, I could tuck and roll and land safely. Only if necessary.
3:55pm
There’s basically 2 types of people in the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport today. First, native Texans. Big. Lots of facial hair. Lots of mid section. Lots of big logos in various places including their mid section. The second is the business traveler. Loafers, sport coat, lots of blackberry checking and sighing. Lots of Bluetooth talking and selling. I am not this guy. I fear if I continue to travel like this I will turn into this guy. I will never be this guy.
4:01pm
I check the results of my Facebook posting. So far only 1 comment. It’s from a chick I used to go to High School with. She responded with ‘One time at band camp…’ Not sure how to take that one. She obviously isn’t a Fleet Foxes fan. Maybe she’s trying to tell me she likes putting foreign objects in her cha-cha. Interesting.
4:40pm
Explain something to me. How can Dallas be so awful at Mexican food? Aren’t they 10 feet from Mexico? Fuck I just had the worst Chicken Quesadilla in my life. Ez cheese, microwaved chicken bits, generic salsa that tasted like a crayon. I did however tip the waitress 5 bucks on my 14 dollar order. I felt bad for her. She was a lady boy, half-Asian, wannabe hipster working at the Tequillaria in the airport. Nowhere to go but up.
5:20pm
About to board. Two hours and twenty minutes until we land in Charlotte. Wish me luck. (Fuck that was gay. Stop being so gay Magglio. I’m going to get a coffee.)
5:22pm
Just before take off I check my Facebook status again. Lo and behold, my friend Drew responded. I’m literally panting with excitement to see what he’s said. “I have a full head of hair” it reads. Fuck I totally called that one. Sadly this makes my day.
8:07pm
We’re about 45 minutes into the flight. The wi-fi isn’t working. I’ve sorta peed twice. The stewardess reeks of self tanner. The dude next to me is reading a book called ‘Helping you understand your emotional abuse.’ I’m exhausted. Did I mention I got in to SF last night from Boise at 9pm. What the fuck am I doing to myself? I decide I’m going to buy a pack of cigarettes when I get to Charlotte for the long drive ahead. I don’t even smoke anymore. But fuck it, I do tonight.
8:10pm
I’m secretly excited for the 2 hour drive from Charlotte to Greensboro. Yes, 2 hours. I’m excited because I’m banking on my rental car having satellite radio which I never get to listen to. I’m going straight to Shade 45 and whatever the other Hip Hop Nation station is. This truly will be the highlight of my day. You want to hear good rap music? Put on satellite radio.
9:05pm
Unfortunately this marathon day will not end. The asshat at the Avis car rental place must get paid hourly. There are 8 people in line and he’s taking his sweet fucking time. Fuck my car had better have satellite radio.
9:40pm
Ball sack! We all saw this one coming. No satellite radio. But I did grab some smokes. Fuck North Carolina.
10:05pm
Four other people responded to my Facebook status. Nobody caught the Fleet Foxes reference. Who cares? Facebook is stupid. Can you tell this day (and this post) has gone on a bit too long?
11:58pm
I finally pull into my hotel. Here’s the final stats for the day:
Total travel time: 12 hours and 28 minutes.
Number of flights: 2
Number of miles traveled: 2,717
Number of cigarettes smoked: 3
Number of times Lady GaGa played on the radio: 14
Number of times I want to do this trip again: 0
Number of days until I do this exact trip again except in reverse order: 2
As I’m sure you can tell by now, Magglio and I have a much different approach to this blog. I like to research a topic, think about it all from all angles, write slowly and edit carefully. Magglio likes to just post, post, post, keep our traffic numbers up and get more and more people reading the blog so everyone will rub his ass and tell him it’s special. What does this have to do with anything? Actually nothing, but he can be a little bitch, huh?
Anyway, one of the predominant questions I’ve been getting over email and in the comments is: “hey, Jericho, why haven’t you reacted to the Oscar nominations yet?” So I’m going to do that today. Why? So you’ll rub my ass and tell me it’s special. I mean, come on, I’m obviously a bitch too, but not like Magglio, that guy’s a fucking bitch. He’s like the Brad Pitt of bitches and I’m more like Channing Tatum. I digress.
One of the craziest things about having a blog is that sometimes I can’t remember if I posted about a certain topic or just ranted about it in private to friends. For example, I fucking hate that the Oscars expanded to 10 best picture nominees (reasons why to come in a second) and have been vehemently protesting against the move since it was announced. When I got the idea for this post, I went to A&M and searched around for the entry where I railed against the new format. To my surprise, it didn’t exist. So maybe this is the first time I’m putting these thoughts to paper, but trust me when I say that nothing is new here, the Academy shit the bed and I've been angrily sleeping in it for months.
Before we get into this, a quick preface: I realize how ridiculous this looks on paper, after all is said and done the Oscars is just a fucking TV show, but it aspires and portends to be so much more and saps like me buy in. If anything, the Oscars succeed because it manages to transcend the “it’s just an award show” mentality, we care about them; we regard Oscar winners with a sense of nobility and accomplishment; in short: the Oscars matter. When they diverge from that course and do something so obviously whore-ish, it affects the validity of the whole thing. They turn it back into a TV show. Maybe that’s at the root of my frustration; we all ignored the elephant in the room and refused to pull back the curtain to see the strings; now the Academy has done that for us. Okay, I’m down from my horse, let’s break this down, here are the 3 big reasons why I hate this decision:
1. It's All About The Benjamins They are diluting a proven process purely to boost ratings. History has proven that the numbers of viewers increase proportionate to the popularity of that year’s films. When a lot of people see and love a movie they watch the show and pull for their favorites to win. It’s no coincidence that the highest watched telecast was in 1997 (Titanic, Good Will Hunting, As Good As It Gets, cumulative box office of nominees = $1 billion). More films means = higher cumulative box office + more starts attending show = higher ratings. It’s that simple. I don’t like it, but it’s easy to dissect their logic.
2. Yeah, But What About Those Pesky Screener Things Expanding the number of nominees doesn’t address the fundamental problem with the nomination and voting process: there is no way to verify that every member has seen every film in question. Every year, the Academy will send 25 or so movies out to its body, they watch the films and then fill out a nomination form, the votes are tallied and the nominations announced. How do we know that each member has watched every film? I honestly don’t know how they address this but it’s a major problem and adding more films to the mix seems to make this even more complicated.
3. The Fucking Blind Side? An Education? Precious? Fuck You? Finally, and this is the biggest problem in my opinion: what if there aren’t 10 movies worth nominating? In the irony of ironies, they are introducing the new rules this year to make amends for last year when two enormously popular and successful movies were passed over (The Dark Knight and Wall-E); except for the fact that this has been a fairly underwhelming year for movies. Look at the list:
- Avatar - The Blind Side - District 9 - An Education - The Hurt Locker - Inglourious Basterds - Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire - A Serious Man - Up - Up in the Air
Other than Avatar, District 9 and Inglourious Basterds, is there anything we’ll be discussing 5 years from now? Isn’t that what a best pic is supposed to do? To illustrate this point, I did a little research and in my opinion, only 4 times in the last 20 years did we have a year good enough to validate having 10 pictures nominated.
Here they are, the films are listed in no particular order:
2005 Brokeback Good Night and Good Luck Capote Munich Walk The Line A History of Violence Constant Gardener Match Point The Squid and the Whale The Upside of Anger
2004 Million Dollar Baby Finding Neverland The Aviator Eternal Sunshine Closer Kinsey The Incredibles Before Sunset Collateral Man on Fire
1997 Good Will Hunting Titanic As Good As It Gets LA Confidential Boogie Nights The Apostle Wag The Dog Jackie Brown Donnie Brasco The Game
1994 Forrest Gump Shawshank Pulp Fiction Legends of the Fall Nobody’s Fool The Paper The Lion King Quiz Show Ed Wood Bullets Over Broadway
A few thoughts before I wind this down: - 4 out of 20? Looking forward to batting .200 for the next few years, Academy? - How good were 1994 and 1997? Holy shit those were good years for film. - Yes, I don’t have the 2005 winner, Crash, on that list. That movie sucks. - Will I watch the Oscars this year even though I just spent 1,000 words killing their new gimmick? If you don’t know answer then clearly you aren’t rubbing my ass enough. Now come on, tell me it’s special. Please.
Some fuck at the Air Force ripped off the White Stripe’s ‘Fell in Love With A Girl’ for their latest commercial. What is that dude thinking? I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. Jack is going to rip his dick off, make a guitar out of it, give it to Loretta Lyn as a gift and she’s going to record a song entitled ‘Jack gave me this dick guitar and I gave the world this song.’
Moustache
A few years back a bunch of dudes we went to school with came down to San Francisco for the Cal/UW football game. We all met at a bar the night before the game and for one reason or another Jericho couldn’t make it out. So, what did I do? Being the good friend I am of course I told them all that Jericho had officially come out of the closet while living in SF. And his girlfriend is cool with it they just use a strap-on now for his satisfaction. Fuck that story still makes me laugh. You realize there’s a large portion of our classmates in Seattle who heard about this and still believe Jericho is gay. That’s what friends are for.
Apple
Human sexuality is such a uniquely individual thing that it’s hard to really pinpoint the sluts from the saints at a glance. However, I feel pretty confident about the following statement: Pink has had poop in her mouth. Not sure where, why, whose or how, but if my life depended on it, I’d say there’s been some poo in there at some point.
Moustache
People’s insecurities and inflated sense of self has never been more on display. This whole thing about doppelgangers on Facebook is seriously out of control. People sure do think they’re a whole lot better looking than they really are huh? In other news, do you know that I look just like Tom Brady minus the hair, chin, face and super bowl rings? Other than that…a dead ringer.
Apple
Who would you rather have sex with? Brooklyn Decker, Abe Vigoda, Kim Kardashian or the robot who keeps spamming our site? Kinda a toss up in my book.
Fuck it. I’m 36,008 feet in the air. I’ve had a couple xanax, a sparkling water and just finished watching Michael Jackson’s This is It. The captain has turned on the fasten seat belts sign, which means any minute now, I’ll be clutching my arm rests convinced that these will be the last moments I’ll ever spend alive. Call me inspired. It’s time to write a post.
What I’ve been up to since we last spoke:
*I finished ‘Eating Animals’ by Jonathan Safran Foer and haven’t picked up another book since.
* I gained about 10 pounds.
* I shared an hour long cab ride with Rachel Hunter. The best part was when she talked so I could stare at her without it being weird.
* I traveled for business for 5 weeks straight. I swear it took 20 years off my life.
* I told Ricky Watters about the poster I had of him hanging over my bed when I was a kid that said “Running Watters.” Then we talked about Niners football.
* I had moments where I did nothing but thank God for how fortunate I am in life. These moments usually directly followed time spent with my wife.
* I misinterpreted a joke about me on a company email and replied to all after a heavy night of drinking which did nothing but further expose my greatest flaw in business. I’m too sensitive.
* I flaked on a good friend of mine for the 2nd time in a row. I still feel awful about it. The stars just didn’t align. Next time dude.
* I still haven’t seen Jericho, which is officially the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other in 7 years, or the last time we lived in separate cities. Inexcusable. On so many levels.
* I went Vegan for 4 days.
* I promised a friend I’d send him ‘The Adderall Diaries’ by Stephen Elliot. It’s been sitting on my desk for about 6 weeks now. I'll get around to that shortly.
* I listened to Bright Eyes more than any other artist on my iPod. Well, Bright Eyes, Fleet Foxes and Them Crooked Vultures, to be honest.
* I haven’t seen Avatar and probably never will.
* I had a conversation with January Jones, and then paused mid-conversation to turn to my wife and tell her, while pointing at Miss Jones, “I’m going to impregnate this woman.” Classy guy.
* My elementary school crush finally admitted that she should’ve dated me in the 6th grade. No shit Lisa.
* I got drunk and danced with my French friend Jon. A friend I hadn’t seen in about 5 years. That’s what life’s all about.
* I delivered hundreds of gently used designer suits to a charity for at-risk men trying to get back on their feet. Maybe that's what life's all about.
* I spent 45 minutes reading an US Weekly, a new personal best for me.
* I spent 4 hours at John Varvatos in New York and can now say, with confidence, I have all the clothes I need.
* I never called Brett back. I can be so selfish sometimes.
* I put an offer on a house and was outbid.
* I told Russell Brand that he was, well, Russell Brand. He said, and I quote, “Yes I am. What’s up loc?”
* I claimed that Robin Wright Penn would be nominated for Best Actress in The Private Life of Pippa Lee. I was wrong.
* I saw original Banksy street art appear overnight.
* I told a model she should try on the Gucci dress instead of the Armani one because it would probably make her legs look better. I was right.
* I bought myself a new pair of socks. Red and grey striped. Paul Smith. Gangster.
* I drank the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Bloody Mary’s of my life. Then proceeded to drink the rest of New Year’s Day away. Fuck that one was a doozy.
* I struggled when asked on more than one occasion to name my top 5 celebrity crushes. I’ve since committed myself to figuring it out so I don’t run into that situation again. Stay tuned.
* I didn’t get a single hair cut.
* I asked Chris Cooley if he’d ever read Apples & Moustaches. He hadn’t. Damn.
* I skipped most of the AFC Championship game to watch a documentary about a Danish-Korean comedy troupe sent to North Korea on a cultural exchange program with the ultimate goal of exposing the atrocities that occur in the Kim Jong-Ill regime. And I learned a little more about myself in the process. Just kidding. I wanted to see what it would feel like to be Rick Reily. It sucked.
* I went from $278.29 cents in my online gambling account to $0.29 in a matter of 2 weeks.
* I defended Snooki when someone said she shouldn’t have her own TV show. She should. End of argument.
* I heard from a lot of fucking cool people that they missed our blog these past few weeks. Which absolutely made my day every time I heard it. Fuck it. We're back. Let's keep this party going.
