Apple:
The only acceptable umbrellas are the ones that can fit 2 or more people in them. These umbrella’s for 1, which are a bit more bell shaped, piss me off. It’s more ‘fuck you’ and less ‘share some shelter with me’. While we’re at it, you should have to be at least 5 foot 7 to carry an umbrella on a crowded sidewalk.
Moustache:
New life rule: never trust a man who voluntarily wears a bow tie
“I was like the Miley Cyrus of my generation” - Debbie Gibson
Moustache:
Drinking tea is kind of like jerking off to Playboy. Sure it has its own merits and is fun for a while but at the end of the day it just doesn't get the job done.
Apple:
Dear Dolphins,
Don't do something stupid like every team does when they have the #1 pick, just do the simple thing and take the best player on the board. Don't worry about what position he plays, just take the best player, Trust me on this one. Take McFadden. Just take him. Trust me on this.
Sincerely,
Someone who fucking hates the Dolphins but loves the draft.
Moustache:
Fearless ‘who’s going pro’ after this season predictions:
- Michael Beasely,
- Kevin Love, UCLA – STAYING
- OJ Mayo, USC – LEAVING (or kicked out)
- James Harden,
- Eric Gordon, Indiana - STAYING
Apple:
My birthday is coming up. Anyone wanna get this for me?
Moustache:
Scarlett Johansson has a new album coming out and has some incredible producers helping her out. Has any actor successfully made the leap as a respected music artist? For every Juliette Lewis there’s a hundred Russell Crowes. (we’re still crossing our fingers Zooey Deushanel pulls off the crossover.)
