Apple
I look like K.D. Lang today. Let me just say it’s not the look I was going for. I’m wedged into too tight jeans and thought it would be a good idea to pair them with a similar shaded blue buttoned down shirt. And a tie. And a black sport coat. And some messy hair. I look like a lesbian. A big dikey lesbian. Again, definitely not the look I was going for today.
Moustache
Are you working today? Chances are you’re not, because you’re celebrating past presidents of our country. Me? Yep. I’m here. At work. Loving every second of it. I’m so angry about being at work today I’m doing little things to remind myself how miserable I am. Like making a pot of coffee extra black and not putting any cream in it. Then re-heating it up in the microwave just to give it that freshly stale taste. I’m so mad today I want my taste buds to suffer.
Apple
Who is this chick? And why is she so fucking funny? And why won’t she email me at applesandmoustaches@gmail.com? Was it something I said? I certainly hope so. I feel like Hugh Grant in a bad romantic comedy trying to get the attention of some innocent British chick with bad teeth who wears different colored scarves everyday. I hope this chick doesn’t turn out to be Neve Campbell. That sure would be awkward wouldn’t it?
Moustache
Check this shit out. This will help you waste time at work today. Click on next for endless enjoyment. Thank you Murph.
Apple
Ever notice how flat Kate Hudson is? Of course you have. But ever notice how much she flaunts her flat chest? That’s what I think makes her so sexy. I wonder if Kate Hudson has to work today.
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