I had two great jokes today that I wanted to share.
1. CNN ran a special about winter storms today and they had a segment on a kid who licked a pole and got his tongue stuck. They were showing clips from A Christmas Story comparing the two situations and I said, "it's nice to see a pole licking story that doesn't involve tiger woods."
2. For our company Christmas party tonight, everyone was required to bring a gift for the white elephant dumb fuck gift exchange (great indie band name), I went to Walgreens and bought anti-diarreha medicine, a cannister of handy wipes and a carton of tennis balls. I wrapped the whole thing in a little bag and wrote on the card: the perfect gift set for the gaseous tennis enthusiast.
Happy fucking Holidays!
JR
