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Apples and Moustaches and a Runny Nose



Apple

My favorite TahoeSanta quote: “I’d be a terrible gay guy. My mouth is too small. Plus, I’m not into dudes.”





Moustache

I want to clear something up. I don’t spend $100 on my haircut. I never have. Granted, I spend ‘close’ to $100 on my haircut but let’s be honest here. I look good.





Apple

Up until tipoff I was saying the Magic could steal this series by grabbing a game in LA and then watching Kobe just quit. I went so far as to predict Magic in 5. This is why my gambling account is at $0 and I’m not allowed to refill it until football season.





Moustache

I’m comfortable enough in my marriage to admit that I want to dry hump the hell out of Rachel from MTV’s Real World/Road Rules challenge. I don’t care if she’s a lesbian. I’m married! This could work.





Apple

Man date tonight. I’m meeting Jericho at a Sushi place. How gay is that? You should see the outfit I put together for tonight. I threw on my white socks with my all blue Chucks. Just kidding. That’s a line from a Snoop Dogg song. I don’t even own Chucks. But I can wear the fuck out of some Mark Nasons.





Moustache

Watch this trailer right now: If, for some reason, the hair on your arms doesn’t stand straight up, and your nipples don’t get hard, and you don’t sense any sort of movement downstairs then please never read this blog again. Ever. I’m serious.





Apple

Two years ago I made a bet with Lil Joshy regarding Matt Cain. (If you’re new to the blog or if you’re a chick then you haven’t noticed that I’ve been sucking off Cain for years.) Joshy said that Cain would never win 18 games in his career. After 8 starts, Cain is currently 6-1. Now what has changed? Nothing. Besides run support. That’s it. Finally the team is scoring when he’s on the hill. Skies the limit this year. He’s a DEFINITE all-star and if this keeps up he should get serious Cy Young consideration. I don’t remember what the bet was. I think if Cain did reach 18 wins then Joshy has to send me topless photos of his wife. Or of himself. I forgot which one we settled on. Stay tuned.





Moustache

In 3 days from now it will be June 8th, which will officially be 2 years since we started writing this blog. Not sure what we’re going to do to celebrate, but stay tuned. It promises to be the most exciting rose ceremony yet.











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